We are proud to bring you the latest real story of superhero fetish today by Ifitz. This series of essays brings to you the stories of real members of the superhero fetish community.
If you want to send us your story of superhero fetish, please email your entry to firstname.lastname@example.org and write "Guest Blogger" in the subject. And don't forget that author Pablo Greene's book series How to Kill a Superhero tells a fictional tale of a man with a superhero fetish.
My Superhero Fetish: Ifitz
The task of cataloguing and tracking my superhero fetish seems daunting but for some reason a sixteen year old me felt it necessary to actually write this down on a piece of paper. As if twelve years ago I knew this would eventually come to fruition: you will one day write about your fetish. Truth be told, my obsession with superheroes is complicated and walks hand in hand with my other major fetishes, obviously spandex, but notably wetsuits and athletic shoes.
It all began when I was six. I had gotten out of bed to get a drink of water, or something and I walked by the living room where Mom was watching Melrose Place. I wish, and have tried everything short of buying the DVDs to try and track down the scene, but a group of the guys on the show were wearing wetsuits, full body wetsuits. I was mesmerized, even at six, what were these suits, why did it stir something so deep inside me and why did I want to be one of these guys so bad?
It was the seed to everything that would happen after. In truth, while I associate that moment with the birth of my fetish in many ways I see it as the birth of my sexuality. It was men wearing these suits and while as a child I simply wanted to be one of them, a small part, possibly just a retrospective adult part, wanted to be with them.
At that age I was also watching the old Spider-Man cartoon on TV and my best friend Aaron had all the comics. He even went as Spider-Man for Halloween one year and I was quite jealous. Another guy in my kindergarten class also dressed as Spider-Man, I insisted he come to my birthday party and when he couldn’t I was devastated. In hindsight I think I only liked him for his Halloween costume. I had had an ear infection that year, and had to wear earplugs to swim classes. The plugs were held in by a red Lycra swim cap, which I realized looked kinda like Spidey’s mask when pulled down over my face. I still have it, and until I get an actual Spidey mask, will serve as my Spider-Man mask.
I also watched Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers when I knew my mother wasn’t watching; she though it was too violent. I just thought it was cool, the way the teens had secret identities and when they became these amazing heroes, they got to wear these cool suits. These cool, spandex suits. It didn’t occur to me, but again, it was all about the tight stuff. Jason was my favorite and even at six I thought he was attractive. I kept it secret but felt it was perfectly normal for a boy to find Jason attractive, I’m sure all the boys at school did.
I had written a comic about the adventures of Spider-Man and Jason the Red Ranger; crudely drawn and not at all taking into consideration that the two had nothing to do with each other. I often acted out my adventures and they always ended the same: Spider-Man would get captured, tied or chained to my bed, tortured as he withered in his suit. I didn’t attach anything sexual to this, yes I was erect, but with no understanding of sexuality I figured it was normal, every boy did it. I never thought anything of the spandex or the bondage either; it seemed normal to me.
I did this until I was 10, by then however, I started to notice boys. Often a cool pair of athletic shoes, often on older boys made me really excited. I think this is why I have a type (athletic, older), but I started to notice it wasn’t normal. And neither was my obsession with Spider-Man or the Red Ranger. Yet I loved it and still acted it out. By my double-digit years I was drawing new Spidey suits, using my next-door neighbor, ironically also named Jason, but this time one in high school, as the model. In hindsight as well, he became my type: tall, lean and blonde. I wrote out his adventures, and when I was alone, I acted them out, all of them ending the same way: Jason would be captured, bound up in some way and tortured while he writhered in his suit. I was starting to keep a list of all the bondage and torture scenes I found strangely attractive: the water suction scene from The Princess Bride was huge, as was a scene from Star Trek: The Next Generation where La Forge is kidnapped and brainwashed; too many scenes to mention.
In 2000 I was watching the summer Olympics and they kept mentioning a sensation named Ian Thorpe and this full bodysuit he wore. As if it were bad enough I was curious about the men wearing trunks, leggings and sleeveless bodysuits, there was a guy wearing a full bodysuit?
And then there he was. And there I was. I watched every swimming event that Olympics in hopes to catch Ian in his suit. He was eighteen and I was fourteen but he was all man in that suit. Commanding and dominating and the hottest thing I had ever seen in the world. I put a picture up on my wall, telling my mom he inspired me because we shared a first name. He inspired me other ways. But it wasn’t just the Thorpedo that got me hard; triathlon debuted that year at the games and the gold medal went to a Canadian named Simon Whitfield. Fit and wearing a sexy suit, the moment he came down to the finish line, ripped through that tape and showed off the man that he was. He was so hot and I was hooked on athletic gear.
In 2002 the first Spider-Man movie came out. I wanted to see it, Spider-Man had been my favorite superhero growing up and at that time I didn’t see it as a sexual attraction, it was a superhero thing. But still, in the back of my mind, something told me there were other reasons I wanted to go. There were, and these reasons followed me home from the theatre. I was a late bloomer, so I started jerking off about that time (I was fourteen), but it seemed a spandex thing, not a superhero thing.
Until Fantastic Four came out.
I was addicted to Chris Evans as The Human Torch. He was so young and hot, still is; but that blue suit was like crack to a hormone fueled boy. He was perfection, perfection coated in tight blue spandex. I was into superheroes, and by this point superhero films were in vogue. Much of the time not wearing spandex, but the genre ran parallel to the real rise of the Internet; I found out so much more about superheroes, the spandex costumes they wore and the guys who were into them.
I remember seeing Superman Returns in 2007. Brandon Routh and his suit mesmerized me, but when seeing the movie, I was confused. I loved it (one of the few that do even with its issues) but at the climax, when Lex tortures him, I got very aroused. I wasn’t sad at his pain I was excited by it. I had the same feeling when watching the climax of Spider-Man 3 but I was into Spider-Man, a lot! It was expected, I had already jerked off to the images I had seen of the blacksuit. Plus Venom, the bondage, the destroyed suit, James Franco… Superman was new. I mean I had fantasized about Dean Cain from Lois & Clark but this was new. It wasn’t until recently that I really understood why and moreover, accepted that my mind and body had these reactions, sometimes in the theatre.
As the decade came to a close and the 2010s began it was an interesting time for me. As a film studies student I was big into the genre but sexually, I was addicted to the men in the roles and the suits they wore. I was always kinky and my fantasies of tying them up torturing them was huge and only grew as time went on. In 2008 I bought my first wetsuit, in 2010 my second. By 2011 I was buying shoes I was into, that turned me on, and by 2012 I was making enough money to be able to buy legit gear like Under Armor, which can we just say, is God’s gift to guys into spandex. Moreover, the guys who wear it are God’s gift to spandex fetishists.
I’m 28 and finally living on my own, finally buying the gear I wanted most of my conscious life. I’m getting sports suits and super suits. And it makes me feel like a man. In truth my fetish took me to places I’ve never dreamed of, possibly because I never knew they existed. I know someday I’ll have to find a man to equal me, someone who spent their childhood imagining the jocks at school or the heroes of the big screen were tied up. Teenage years imagining the boy next door had a secret double life in spandex. They acted it out alone, as did I, but someday it’ll be great to have a partner. Until then, I’m going to love the gear that gets me going. I hope you’ll all join me, brothers in arms.
P.S. Paul Rudd as Ant-Man is my wallpaper right now and I can’t get enough of it!